If there was ever a person that was obsessed with shoes it is my son. He loves tennis shoes. He knows everything about them and when they are dropping new releases. He keeps all the boxes and takes very good care of them. Someone that is obsessed with shoes is going to make sure he takes care of them more than someone who isn’t. The same thing goes for a happy marriage. You can work at this with your significant other to have a great marriage. Now of course if you are married to the right person it naturally helps and makes things easier. In honor of my 23rd anniversary on July 8th, I thought I would share 10 habits I feel helps couples have a healthier marriage. This is what helps us stay balanced between family and work. I hope they can help you too.
1. Share in the daily grind. If you take pleasure in your daily activities such as your jobs and raising a family, you will feel like you’re living life in the moment. You are making memories in the everyday happenings of your life. You can’t just count the lavish vacations and the holidays. Life with your spouse and family are made up of mainly the everyday occurrences. Get used to enjoying the small things and make the most of the everyday events that mean so much. Time really flies and before you know it your children are out of the house and you’re wondering how you spent your time.
2. Have something to look forward to. You could have a monthly group get together that you look forward to such as your supper club, monthly game night etc. Or you could have something a little more in depth like your upcoming retirement, a planned vacation or purchasing a vacation home together on the beach. No matter what the level; have something that you look forward to doing with your spouse. The anticipation of an upcoming event is the best feeling. That excitement gives you an amazing feeling to hold onto.
3. Go on date nights. Have set date nights planned out with your spouse. Take turns planning them and try to think about what activities would make the other person happy. Isn’t that what it’s all about? Trying to make the other person feel loved and thought about.
4. Speak your spouse’s love language. One of my favorite books is 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. To see my top ten favorite books you can check that post out here. Take the time to find out your spouse’s love language. It is a quick read and it can help you understand your spouse better to know what makes them feel loved and valued.
5. Play up each other’s strengths. Don’t push each other’s buttons or play on their weaknesses. Lean on your spouse and praise them for what they do well. Everyone likes to be complimented. Raise each other up and tell them when they do good things that make your life easier and better.
6. Put in the commitment. Invest time and effort to your marriage. Spend quality time together. If you travel for work, then make time to spend together when you return. Do whatever it takes to show your spouse that you value him/her and they are your priority.
7. Pursue your passions. Do something for yourself. Don’t lose who you are. Go out with your friends and continue to do your hobbies. Losing yourself is the worst thing you can do in a marriage. You want to still be an individual so you can bring something to the table in your marriage. Be a strong person. That is probably one of the qualities your spouse loved about you in the first place.
8. Have open communication. Communicating with your spouse can really bring you closer together along with problem solving. Being able to problem solve is key. If you can talk and resolve your problems you are set.
9. Be best friends. My husband is my best friend. He is the first one I want to tell good news to and the first person I run to if I have a problem. I truly have the best time with my husband. I want to be with him all the time. Even after 23 years I get excited when he comes home from work and wish he didn’t have to leave in the morning. You should love your spouse a little more than the day before.
10. Set a good example. My parents set a great example for me as a married couple and I hope I’m setting a good example for my children. We’ve been happily married 23 years and I hope my children will find a spouse that loves them just as much as my husband loves me.
If you are engaged or a newlywed congratulations. I am very excited for you. Marriage is amazing, but it is not to be taken lightly. So many people today get caught up in planning this amazing wedding that they forget that a marriage follows that big party. The marriage is what it truly is about. Think about the things that made you fall in love in the first place and start there.