I feel passionate talking about teen issues every once in a while because that is a huge part of my life.  I have a fifteen year old and in less than a month, a 13 year old. Plus, after teaching for so many years, teen issues are just part of my life. With two teenagers in the house there are lots of things to talk about and lots of questions to pose that we can discuss and help one another out.  I’m glad I can I can use my blog to get input from experienced mothers who have gone through walks of life that I haven’t reached yet.  Every milestone and age is special, but I am entering unchartered waters here with some milestones coming up in my children’s lives; driving, dating, college.  I would love any feedback my fellow readers and bloggers could offer.

The one that has been on my mind lately sparks due to the movie THE DUFF.  If you’re not aware of what that is; Dufff stands for designated ugly fat friend.  So apparently, in groups of friends there is a friend that is the less attractive one that makes everyone else’s self esteem just shoot through the roof.  I had never really thought about it until this movie came out, but it got me thinking about social status and pecking order.  I can’t imagine what these kids go through on a day to day basis if this is what they are dealing with from their actual friends.  Can you imagine what it would be like if you were dealing with someone that didn’t like you?

Now I would like to know if there is some scientific standing behind this.  We do tend to hang out with friends that have the same interests.  And I don’t want to be the bad guy here, but it is just human nature that we tend to find friends who are in the same social status that we belong to. It is just what people do.  They gravitate toward people that are like them.

Finding a true group of friends can be hard.


In college, there was this one fraternity that I hung out with that had this theory.  They had this guy who was a little more attractive and they had him out front at all events hoping he would bring in the ladies .  It was their intention and goal to use him for this purpose.  They felt once the girls were in then it was every man for himself. But that was this guy’s role in the fraternity. It was kind of funny, but everyone knew about it.

I’ve seen it work the opposite way too.  I’ve seen where if you have really attractive friends and you are out together then they are getting all the attention and there is no spotlight left for the rest of the group.  There have actually been studies done on both sides of this coin.

So my theory is, find a couple of really amazing friends that get to know you for you.  They don’t care if you wear your glasses at night time.  They let you be yourself around them at all times.  Your true feelings can come out and you don’t have to put on an act for them or try too hard like you have to do everyday at school with just your acquaintances.  You could sit around on a Saturday and just watch your favorite shows and that is enough.  You don’t have to be out entertaining each other to have a great time.  That is when you know you have truly found a friend for life.  My daughter and son each have a handful of friends like that and I thank God they have them in their lives.


I hope this DUFF theory is not really true and it is just a Hollywood term to bring in box office dollars.  Let’s make sure we are present in our’s children’s lives so we know who they are hanging out with and can keep an eye on all these new fads.


If you have any topics you think would make a great one for the next teen talk please leave a comment below and I would love to hear what you think about this segment.  I know it’s new and a little different, but every once in a while I feel I need to talk about issues going on in the teen world.

Yours Truly,


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